What does inspire really mean?
As a conductor, I take pride in being a leader who empowers and elevates musicians everywhere I go. I take serious responsibility in maximizing the potential of that impact, because in my mind, nobody wants to feel like they are wasting time doing something that they don't believe to be worthwhile for their own growth.
Just last week, I finished a gig that left me feeling like I did not maximize that potential - and it left me feeling inadequate as a leader. I felt like I wasn't able to elevate the musicians nor motivate them toward gaining a sense of ownership and purpose. The bottom line was that I didn't feel like I had been a good leader who inspired others as I had hoped to.
A colleague gave me some perspective in saying that feelings are valid but they are not the truth. She was right.
I received a number of cards and notes from the musicians after the show, and I was shocked to discover how often the word "inspiration" appeared in the messages. That could not have been further from my reality: in my mind, I was most certainly not inspiring because I was not being the leader that I wanted to be.
Then I realized that I was judging this mostly on how I wasn't able to elevate the music-making as I had intended. In other words, if I were really inspiring, it would have led effectively to measurable artistic results (or at least a palpable desire to strive for those results). And I felt I wasn't getting that.
But at the end of the day, clearly something about my work and impact was "inspiring" to them. What was it? And why wasn't I able to see it?
***
So all of this made me ask 2 questions:
First, what does "inspire" really mean for me as a leader? What do I hope to do and what do I expect the people to gain? Two groups of thoughts emerged:
Help musicians access something they didn't think they had. Pushing someone to work harder. Setting the bar yet even higher, while believing and trusting that they can achieve it.
Help musicians see more clearly. This could be a vision, goal, or impact. It could also be providing them with a different perspective. Helping them see something in a different light. Or putting their work into a context that makes sense.
These intentions are inspirational to me because 1) it keeps us honest and motivated about becoming better, and 2) it helps us see that there is not just one path to arrive at our goals.
The second question I wrestled with was whether the fruits of a leader's inspirational work must be visible immediately in order for it to be meaningful.
In this most recent experience, I thought that I did not see the results so therefore I was not being inspirational.
I might have inspired someone to work toward higher standards, and they might simply not have the ability or capacity right now to reach it. Internally, they can feel stretched while not necessarily having shown a measurable change externally.
Likewise, I might have inspired someone to understand where they are going or how they fit into the bigger picture. That doesn't automatically lead them to figuring out the best ways to execute that understanding.
The impact is still there in both cases, but additional time may be necessary for that impact to manifest in tangible results.
***
At the end of the day, there are always a hundred things I could have done differently to have been a better leader. I am always able to be better.
More importantly through this reflection, I have learned a bit about what "inspire" means to me and how it plays out in my work. Each leader is allowed to define "inspire" differently. Regardless of those details, it's always humbling to examine how that definition infuses the experiences of the people we lead.
My blind spots were also revealed. A lesson here is that regardless of the availability of tangible results, I shouldn't dismiss the fact that some sort of impact was perhaps felt and internalized. Just because I did not see the results in the way I hoped for it to be manifested, doesn't mean it was not there. Revealing that sensation of impact and validating it may be a vital part of the process in how we transform that nugget of inspiration into something more visible.
What does inspire mean to you? And are your people feeling it? How do you know that?
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