How I found meaning
Based on this article, a study "found that nine in 10 people would be willing to swap a percentage of their lifetime earnings for more meaningful work."
Susan Peppercorn further explains that "people who focus on meaning in their personal and professional lives are more likely to feel an enduring sense of well-being. Research shows that making work more meaningful is one of the most powerful and underutilized ways to increase productivity, engagement, and performance."
Meaning, or purpose, refers to why your work exists and why it's important.
We never really talk about meaning in music. Maybe because it can be a surprisingly challenging conversation.
I remember the very first time I tried to articulate my purpose about 10 years ago. I struggled so hard. When I finally managed to scribble something down, it came out like something you'd find in a greeting card, like "I want to help inspire others to love music." Well, that's lovely and great. But it could've been written by every other musician on the planet. I realized I actually could not explain in more detail why music was my passion. I was shocked. It didn't feel great that it was so generic and blah.
So I found questions to help me dig deeper: Who are these "others" I refer to? What do I hope they would love about music? What do I actually mean by using the verb "inspire"? What is the desired result of my influence?
Those were very difficult questions. And I struggled some more for years.
After trial and error, I discovered that my "who" are the musicians on stage. I want to help them love performing the nuance and meaning in the music, not just the notes. When I say "inspire", I actually mean help them "get" what they're playing, as deeply as possible, so they know they are important regardless of which part they play. The desired result is I hope musicians would feel valued (because they see their importance) and fulfilled (because they see the artistic meaning in the notes).
And the final question: why is all this important to me?
Well honestly, it's because I'm a nerd and I get really excited about analysis and reverse-engineering a piece of music. I want to notice and find a reason for the smallest details on the page. I love complexity and the idea of building intricate structures phase by phrase, note by note. I get a high from performing music in a way where all of that nuance is revealed and intentional.
It's also because I feel like this kind of experience is sorely missing in our industry - and it leads to unhappy, unsatisfied musicians. I miss it in the work I do. I want to find this special thing I'm looking for and give it to other people.
Now, I get that this may not resonate with you at all. It may not be your way of "love of music", why you want to "inspire", or who your target "others" may be - and that is totally OK. We don't have to agree!
I've had to learn to be OK with it.
The most difficult doubt I grappled with was how come my "who" was not the audience? I thought, "That's weird. And that's bad, right? There must be something wrong with me." I've always had an affinity toward taking care of the musicians. I can't explain it. And for a while, I felt unjustified in having this desire in me to focus on the musicians over the audience. Later, I realized that the byproduct is actually more satisfied customers because fulfilled musicians make better music. So I am actually serving the audience indirectly by serving the musicians.
It took me 10 years to get from "I want to help inspire others to love music" to "I help musicians feel valued, seen, and fulfilled."
I share all this to normalize the struggle in finding meaning. I give you permission to ask "why do I do what I do?" and to feel totally lost and confused. If you've never considered it before, how could you know how to find meaning? That is OK for it to be hard and awkward.
Here are the five questions that have helped me dig deeper:
Who do I do it for?
What do I hope they would "get" about music?
What do I actually mean if I use the verb "inspire" (or any other vague verb you chose)?
What is the desired result of my influence?
Why is all this important to me?
For me, meaning helped make my life exhilarating at the high points and manageable at the low points. It made my work always feel important. I believe that feeling is worth the struggle.
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