How can I help?
One thing we don't often do when we stand up on the podium is to ask, "How can I help?" We often enter the room asking, "How can they help me? How can I get them to do what I want?"
The ensemble is also not used to being asked, "How could the conductor help me?" They are more used to thinking, "What will I be asked to do today by the conductor?"
Thinking about all this made me wonder - what is it that we help the ensemble with anyway?
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I think there are three broad categories of ways we help:
We help them be better versions of themselves as artists.
We help them diagnose problems and find solutions.
We help them see the future that they want to aspire to.
We help them see a future they did not even imagine was possible to aspire to.
We help them see and feel the progress being made every single day.
We help them feel safe and comfortable to do their creative jobs.
We help them feel able to express their musical ideas.
We help them feel open to question others' musical ideas (including those of the conductor).
We help them feel empowered to say they don't understand something and ask questions.
We help them feel safe to say I made a mistake.
We help them feel safe to fail trying things they've never tried before.
We help them understand that everyone in the room shares the struggle of being human.
We help them trust each other.
We help them feel fulfilled about the work they do.
We help them have fun and enjoy their work.
We help them understand how their work matters in the context of the artform itself.
We help them understand how their work impacts the people it serves.
We help them feel responsible for and proud of their work and contribution.
We help them feel like they can take themselves seriously - and other times, not take themselves so seriously.
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What would happen if we ask our ensembles regularly about whether they feel like they are becoming better versions of themselves? Feeling safe to be creative and make mistakes? Feeling like they can fail without embarrassment? Feeling fulfilled when they leave work everyday?
What would we find out? And if the answer is "I don't really feel that way" for one or more of these questions, what are we going to do about it?
I've been working with the Portland Opera these past few weeks on Tosca. And I tried to implement some of these ideas in my work. Here are two takeaways (among many others):
I was grateful that the musicians felt comfortable asking me questions, because it made me rethink how I was communicating gesturally and verbally. It gave me a window into understanding their perspectives and what was getting in their way of doing their best. The solutions were not what I thought they were because the problems were not what I thought they were. And their questions shed light on that disparity.
I acknowledged my mistakes openly and recognized that some messes were not their fault. I realized that when there is discomfort in ensemble playing, sometimes it is not obvious what went wrong and musicians end up worrying. When I acknowledge that it was my error, the anxiety toward the next time lessens simply because the musicians are assured that they didn't do anything wrong.
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What would happen if we walked into a rehearsal room or on stage asking, "How can I help?"
I believe the room would be a more collaborative space where we get more done and where we are happier and more fulfilled.
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