Get out of survival mode
Recently, I had a conversation with a colleague about how musicians are so resistant to change because we are in a perpetual state of fear, and we are largely unaware of it.
What do we fear? We fear being unseen, being unwanted, being unsupported, being punished for our shortcomings, not belonging, being abandoned, being undervalued, and not mattering.
These are deep human fears that manifest as more everyday, recognizable, surface-level fears, like: making a mistake, being fired, being rejected, someone not liking our interpretation, not knowing the answer to a question, not having more followers, not being paid appropriately, negative reviews. The list goes on.
So we address these surface-level fears. We get more followers, do anything to avoid getting fired, perform the way we think others would like, fight for fair pay, seek to be perfect.
Yet, the deeper fears remain unresolved. We still feel unseen, unwanted, unsupported. We still fear punishment, hearing no, and ostracized from our community.
When these deeper fears go unaddressed, we scramble to survive:
We protect our status. We have a scarcity mindset. We become narrow-minded in our artistic choices. We are unable to think for the good of the group. We are hypervigilant that our worth is determined by others, always trying to prove or defend ourselves.
We do this because we feel unsafe, invisible, never good enough, and always on high alert, ready to fight.
We are in survival mode. And this really hurts us.
This goes for everyone - from the person at the top of the hierarchy to the person at the very bottom. What’s different are the context, level of intensity, and sense of agency (whether they can do anything about it).
The good news is that we can get ourselves out of survival mode, by catering to the real, deeper fears. We can do be better at:
Supporting people, not only when it benefits us
Making people feel wanted, even if we assume that they already know
Making people feel like they belong, despite their flaws
Valuing our people financially and socially, before they have to ask for it
Showing people they matter, regardless which seat they’re in
Seeing people deeply, beyond their artistic value
How often and well do we do these things? Instead of putting a bandaid on the surface-level fears, we can build musical cultures that make us feel safe enough to exit our survival mode.
We can create a reality where survival mode is no longer the default.
Are you in survival mode? Are your people? What could you do to help us all get out of it?
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