Why don't we think we can change
We've all heard "change is hard" and "change is uncomfortable."
When you were young learning music, you probably learned something incorrectly at some point. Your teacher might have told you that you need to practice it correctly 10 times before you can "override" your learned error.
Even as adults, you probably have heard someone say that it takes at least 14 days for a new habit to take shape.
We know that change takes dedication and perseverance over time. It is easy to become discouraged, distracted, and even give up in that process. So it makes sense to say that change is hard and uncomfortable - perhaps herculean deeds not meant for everyone.
However, this presumes that we have already enlisted ourselves on the journey of change.
Sometimes, we don't even get started because we don't think we can change.
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It seems appropriate to bring in the idea of growth versus fixed mindset from psychologist Carol Dweck.
A growth mindset means that we believe our intelligence and talent can be developed over time and through effort. A fixed mindset means that we believe our intelligence and talent are inherently fixed and unchangeable.
Do we have growth or fixed mindsets?
As musicians, we are extremely adaptive and versatile. We get better at our craft over an entire lifetime. We are excellent learners, achievers, and goal-setters. This sounds like we have a growth mindset, right?
We may have a growth mindset about our own abilities, but that doesn't always translate into our belief about our circumstances - like our jobs, our workplaces, our profession's habits and expectations.
When it comes to describing workplace challenges, I hear many musician' comments that sound like this:
"This is just the way things are."
"Nothing that can be done to make things better."
"Change won't help."
"There is no hope."
"I don't believe that's possible."
"They are never going to listen."
This sounds like a fixed mindset where we don't believe we are capable of growth or change when it comes to our work circumstances.
Have you heard someone make a similar comment in your workplace? Have these thoughts crossed your own mind when someone asks you about your job?
Now that we notice the presence of a fixed mindset, we can ask: why don't we think we can change?
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Here are some thoughts that come to mind:
We are scared so we avoid thinking about it. We don't know if it's going to work. We don't want to be on the hook in case it doesn't. It is easier to flee than to fight in some cases. We procrastinate wanting this change, making this change happen.
We are required to see new things. Daniel Kahneman says, "What I see is all there is." We only know what we know, and we make up stories to confirm our interpretations of the world. It takes proactive effort to consider another story that's not our own, to imagine a different world seen through someone else's eyes. This process may jeopardize what we know and forces us to unsee what we believed to be reality.
We lack social proof. People are trend-followers. The more people think something is correct, the more likely we are to believe it is correct - often without further interrogation. At the same time, only a small percentage of us are inclined to be an early adopter (actually 13.5% according to marketing research). There is a risk to be in that group. Most of us are in the early or late majority (together making up 68%). The large majority of us follow.
We hold an all or nothing mindset. Sometimes we think that it can only work if we can change everyone. Plus, we want change to happen fast with the flip of a switch. This is never the case. So when it doesn't happen all at once effectively, we don't think change is possible.
We have no plan. Because we want it to be a quick fix, we don't realize change requires constant maintenance, evaluation, redirection, and goal posts to ensure progress. Without a plan and checkpoints, it is difficult to see progress. It seems too daunting and it is perhaps easier to think we can't do it.
We don't have a purpose. Sometimes, it seems like there is no reason to change. We are great at adapting and getting by. We can easily settle for mediocrity. We create stories to be OK living someone else's reality or chasing someone else's dreams. So if we can fly under the radar and survive, why change? What's the fire? What's the cost if we don't change?
We don't have accountability built in. We don't have anyone holding us accountable except for ourselves. It is often the least effective to do something on our own, especially when we don't have a clear purpose or cause for change. We need the support of our community to back us up, give us feedback, to keep us to our word, and to remind us why we are seeking the change.
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With so much stacked up against us, it's amazing we even get started toward change!
Step one is to simply believe that we can change.
To help use believe, we can ask ourselves these questions:
How is fear holding you back? Is it rational?
What don't you see?
Are you a follower or a leader?
What is the smallest initial change that would signal progress for you?
How would you plan for that small change? How does it relate to the bigger, long-term change?
What are the costs if we don't change?
Who benefits from your change?
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