We don't get to call ourselves leaders
Who gets to decide we're a leader? Other people. We don't get to self-designate as leaders. And while we can be given the role of a leader, neither self-designation nor being hired guarantees that people would willingly follow us.
Leaders exist all around us. Our parents who inspired us to treat others well by modeling so every day. A friend who started a book club that unleashed our inner bookworm. A coworker who organizes carpools to make life easier for everyone at work (and help the environment).
Why do we follow them? Why do we volunteer to join? Why do we enroll in their cause and stick with it?
Rich Diviney in The Attributes presents five leadership attributes: empathy, selflessness, authenticity, decisiveness, and accountability.
Here are how they might manifest in leaders and why we follow, volunteer, and enroll:
They behave in a way that speaks to us and who we are - it seems like they truly see us.
They make an effort to create something that benefits others - including us, of course.
They are real. There is no fluff. They do what they say they're going to do, and they're consistent and reliable in doing it. We trust them completely.
They make decisions confidently at the right times - perhaps decisions we are too afraid to make. They make those decisions for us, on our behalf, and we feel safe and empowered in their charge.
They take responsibility for the outcomes of their own decisions, actions, and words. There is no blame game. In fact, they cover for us sometimes when it's in the group's interest.
Without realizing it, you're noticing these things about people, regardless of their position or title.
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Diviney also points out that leadership is a behavior. It's a posture and way of being - what we do, how we act, and what we believe.
None of us have perfect amounts of all these leadership attributes - but because they're exhibited through behaviors (as opposed to innate talent), we can work hard to develop and grow them.
For example, I feel really good about my selflessness, authenticity, and accountability. They come naturally to me and are at the heart of who I am. On the other hand, empathy and decisiveness are areas I want to work on. I want to practice seeing other people's perspectives so that my work can serve their needs more and not my own. I want to develop my confidence in timing when it comes to making decisions. I know what the right decisions are, but I don't always make them when it really counts.
In many industries, leadership presents itself in the form of big positions and fancy titles, and both are very public. It leads us to think that 1) we need the title in order to behave like a leader and 2) the title immediately proclaims the person who holds it as an effective leader.
In fact, we don't need permission to behave like a leader because neither the title nor we get to decide whether we are a leader - only the people do. The power is in them to follow or not.
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