Trust first

I recall a part of my conducting training that involved hearing horror stories from experienced conductors about their work with professional orchestras. I heard stories of orchestras shaking their heads at the conductor's interpretive choices, orchestras deciding if they liked the conductor or not (and thus their success) within the first 30 seconds of meeting them, and intentionally ignoring conductors or giving them a hard time if one doesn't earn the orchestra's respect.

I do believe that an important moral of those stories was to have integrity in one's craft and preparation as a conductor.

At the same time, those stories also conditioned us to believe that the default relationship status between a conductor and orchestra is one of conflict and distrust. We expect to be walking into conflict and having to save, defend, and prove ourselves.

Here's the interesting thing: similar stories occur on the other side of the relationship too. Musicians who work with conductors learn from their training to cater to a conductor's preferences, to protect themselves from being treated poorly, and to still be able to perform at a high level even when the conductor is not helpful.

All this makes the idea of standing in front of an orchestra or playing in an orchestra such a scary, stressful situation that feels like going into battle. In fact, it may feel like a battle against each other, rather than going into battle with each other.

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We've perpetuated this culture of distrust through stories taken from real experiences. And we need to start passing down new stories stemming from new experiences.

Conductors can stop assuming orchestras by default are out to get the conductor or would choose to be defiant just to be so. Orchestras can stop assuming that conductors are out to abuse their power and take advantage of musicians.

In fact, those assumptions are severe distractions to our going into battle together.

We can start by changing our assumptions as leaders to change this culture across large organizations.

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Here's one way to rebuild trust from social psychologist and Harvard professor Amy Cuddy:

As a leader, I can show up trusting the orchestra to want me to do well and that it will support me in doing so. I can also show up assuming that they want to do well and I can focus all my energy on supporting them to do so. We start from believing we can trust them and that they can trust us.

In a way, we must give this trust blindly and generously because we can't guarantee it would be reciprocated right away, or ever.

But as Cuddy adds, "When we give trust, we often get it back."

Trust that goes both ways can not only help us improve how we do our work but help us focus our attention on doing the challenging work together as a team.

As leaders, we are responsible for taking the leap to trust first.


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