The awkward stage
Are you in the middle of trying to implement change in yourself or in your organization? Do you get frustrated that is it just so hard?
We all know that change is hard. We hear it again and again. And we can get stuck in this stage of knowing it's hard and not knowing what to do about it.
First, I find it helpful to understand why it is hard. I like to think about the “way we do things” as habits. It's ingrained, well-practiced, and routine. The ease is what makes it feel comfortable and safe.
To manage this challenge, I found communication expert Sam Horn's 4 A's of habit change to be helpful. Her 4 A's are: aware, awkward, applying, and automatic.
I want to focus on awkward. It's brilliant because it acknowledges that this is real.
When we first start to change and try a different habit, it is very awkward. It feels weird. We're not good at the new behavior or new thought. We need a lot of practice.
This is the part of the change experience we often ignore or imagine doesn't exist. When we experience hardship, we think there is something wrong and we must stop or retreat. In fact, there is nothing wrong when it gets hard. It's supposed to be that way.
Recognizing awkward as a stage of habit change helps us expect it. It helps us understand that the feeling will make us not want to continue, to run back to the safety of our hold habits. This is normal.
It gives us permission to be bad at first. It gives us hope that, if we push through the awkward, the new habit can become easier to apply and eventually be automatic.
I hope this gives you some perspective. Which new habits are you working on (personally or organizationally) that are in the awkward stage?
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