Strike when the iron is cold
I'm sure you've heard the popular saying "strike when the iron is hot." Perhaps you haven't heard the saying "strike when the iron is cold."
You know when you make plans and things don’t go smoothly and you panic?
You know when you are determined to stand up for what you believe in and you don’t do it when it comes time to speak up?
You know when you invite feedback from others and end up being defensive when they actually give you feedback?
For each scenario, there is probably a gap between how you’d react in the moment and how you hope you’d react. This is so common for humans in the height of negative issues or stressful situations. Here (when the “iron is hot”), it is really hard to make decisions and take action that represent our best selves and are in our best interest.
We know that we could have gone with the flow when plans change, we could have spoken up instead of staying quiet, or we could have been more grateful for the feedback. We may even beat ourselves up after the fact for not choosing these options.
Those are fantastic goals and even expectations; however, when the iron is hot, we are too preoccupied and distracted with self-preservation. We don’t have bandwidth to address, manage, and realize these goals.
Instead, we need to "strike when the iron is cold” when we are not in the middle of these heightened situations, when we have the most patience, optimism, and openness.
When the iron is cold, we can choose to respond a certain way, knowing that the situation may very likely come up. We don’t need to wait to be swept up in the heat of the moment to practice this. We can find ways to practice this intervention before the moment.
Here's an example from my life:
I absolutely dread the question “what’s next for you?” during a gig. I never know what to say because I rarely have a next gig. (For example, I went 14 months between my last 2 guest conducting gigs.) This situation always makes me super anxious. A feeling of shame, fear of what people would think, and panic for what to say set in. When the iron is hot, I can’t do much else but manage these feelings and scramble for a response, which is always awkward.
This year, I decided to strike when the iron is cold: For my last gig, I practiced every day for a whole month leading up to it asking myself, “What’s next for you?” and responding to myself with “I’m working on my next blog post.”
At the gig, I was asked this question dozens of times. And I responded with my well-practiced answer with minimal effort. I say "minimal" because I was still anxious, but I was prepared with a response - one that diverted the conversation away from my non-existent next gig (that I can’t control) to a personal weekly practice (that I can fully control).
I’m reminded of what Katherine Morgan Schafler wrote (in the book where I learned this idea), “When you are doing well, show up for the future you that’s having a hard time.”
How could the idea of “strike when the iron is cold” be beneficial for you?
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