Noticing pronouns
In the military, they observe if people would refer to their commander as "the" commander or "our" commander. When people say our commander, they imply a sense of ownership and responsibility. The commander has earned it from their people. They usually don't use that distinction lightly.
What do we call our artistic leaders? Have you ever thought about whether you use "the" or "our" when referring to the conductor or artistic leader? What about your peers? What do they use?
If asked to tack on the opposite pronoun, would it feel weird? Would it be difficult to say?
When using "our", people feel confident that their leader will stand by their side and take care of them. They respect how the leader makes them feel - about themselves and each other. They feel like they belong to a team on a mission, rather than individuals who happen to be grouped together.
When referring to your leaders, how many times would you use the pronoun "our"?
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While on the subject of pronouns, here's another curious human thing: when we refer to our favorite sports team, we also tend to systematically use two pronouns - "we" and "they". Interestingly, research has shown that people use "we" when we talk about victories (We won!) and use "they" when talking about defeat (They had an off night.).
There's nothing wrong with us. We don't do it on purpose. It's just how we are wired as people. "We want to be grouped with people, teams, and things that do well… and we want to separate ourselves from those that fail" (from here).
Could this give us insight into whether people think their leader is doing well or failing? Might this help us diagnose problems in leaders before they manifest into irreversible failure?
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By simply noticing the pronouns people naturally use, we can quickly take the temperature of an organization's culture and progress. We can gain insight into a leader's ability to earn trust and to empower a sense of belonging in their teams.
Notice if your people tend to use "our" or "the", "we" or "they" when referring to their leader, their organization, or their teammates. It can give us valuable data to help evaluate our own work and the culture we work in.
As leaders, we want to become the kind worthy of "our" and "we" pronouns - even when we are losing.
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