Leaders help themselves grow
In order to become a better leader, we have to become better people. That resonates.
A large part of a leader's growth is gaining self-awareness and practicing reflection. When we are not aware, it's hard to be intentional about what we do and why we do it. It's hard to feel confident about our choices. Humans are wired for growth. We can easily become complacent or stagnant in our leadership if we don't tend to our own growth.
Here are two helpful thoughts and some questions to help us gain a bit of self-awareness.
1) When I say yes to something, I'm also saying no to something else.
What can I stop doing? What can I start prioritizing? If I were to make a stop doing list paired with a start doing list, what would it look like? For me, it might look like: 1) Stop giving power to other people and seeking their approval. Start believing that my worth is constant regardless of what other people think. 2) Stop spending time with people who require me to change who I am. Start spending time with people who demand nothing less than my authenticity. 3) Stop doing things that don't fulfill me. Start saying no to things I don't want to do, even when they may look good. 4) Stop spending time thinking about my past. I can't change it. Start prioritizing my future.
2) Expectations are the secret software that runs our lives.
What are my expectations, and how do they inform my actions and reactions? This one I often struggle with. We are fed information by our world that color our assumptions - about what is "right", about what our people are thinking, about why certain things happened. Many times, these expectations are incorrect or incomplete. We may be unaware that expectations are self-fulfilling prophecies (because when we expect it to happen, our actions are complicit in making it happen). We may also be unaware that expectations let us down, and that disappointment leads to reactions that are not always constructive. It's helpful to notice when our actions and reactions are limited by our expectations. Perhaps we can choose different expectations that lead to better actions and reactions.
Leadership is not only what we do for others to help them grow, but also what we do for ourselves to continue growing. When we become better, we can have more impact. I hope you'll take some time at the end of 2023 to help yourself become better.
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