4 things we could stop doing as leaders
As leaders, we are always hoping to gain new skills, learn new ideas, and try on different mindsets. We keep adding items to our "should-do" lists to become a better leader.
What are the things that we could stop doing? Here are 4 things on my "stop doing" list:
1. Assuming that all people are like us. Most of us have our people's best interest in mind. I can easily forget that I have my personal lens on when I think I'm doing something on behalf of my people. For example, this happens when I give them feedback, advocate for them, or make artistic planning decisions that I assume they'd love. When I think I have my people's best interest in mind, what I really have is what I think their best interests might be. I think they care a lot about A because I care about A. I may never know that what they really want is B. We all have to remind ourselves that we don't really know - until we ask them directly.
2. Saying things and not doing them. Sometimes, we make promises and get overwhelmed with a thousand other things. We end up deferring or forgetting about these promises altogether. What we don't realize is that our people notice. And they want accountability (just like we want accountability). And when we neglect promises repeatedly, it automatically becomes part of the culture. It tells people that it is OK to not follow through. So think about the things we've said we'd do. When is it going to happen? Is it honestly going to happen? And even when we must delay doing the thing, we have a responsibility to be transparent. When we keep people in the loop, they know the facts and can better understand. Our people deserve follow-through and transparency.
3. Thinking that we don't need help. Who has time to ask for help? Also, we should know it all - that's our job as a leader! The reality is that when we ask for help, our work moves along faster, we learn more, and we nurture our relationships. I struggle with this incessantly because I just can't get over how I am not perfect and I can't do everything on my own. So I started writing on my weekly to-do list "ask someone for help." It can be as simple as asking for directions or asking for a restaurant recommendation. Start small and make asking for help a habit.
4. Motivating musicians using fear. We don't realize how much we've been motivated by fear through our music education, training, and careers. This could be fear of not being perfect in performance, fear of public embarrassment, or fear of losing our status, respect, and jobs. Because we lived through such experiences, we end up perpetuating them as the norm. It's just the way things are and ought to be. However, there is a limit to fear. Our fear response is fueled by adrenaline that puts us in a heightened state of stress. Fear really poses more of a distraction than anything else, and it makes us less effective because we have to deal with that stress. It's always good to check in with ourselves, are we relying on fear as the primary motivation in our leadership? We can turn it around and motivate musicians through affirming their fears as normal and communicating belonging and value. For example: yes, you might make a mistake, but we care about your contribution more than the one slip.
Sometimes keeping a "stop doing list" helps reframe behaviors in a different way. But if you are a "to-do list" type of person, we can easily translate the items above to:
Ask people more because we don't know what they're really thinking
Do the things we say we would do. If we can't, explain why in a timely manner.
Ask for help. Make a point to do it regularly.
Motivate musicians by communicating value and belonging
What else might you add to your "stop doing" list?
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