10 ways we can feel proud

Cal Newport said in a podcast interview, "Humans like to have their intentions manifest in the world in a way they are proud."

The words "in a way they are proud" stood out as the most important part of the insight. 

Pride is a very positive and uplifting feeling. Others can be proud of us, and we can be proud of ourselves. The latter can seem a bit more elusive in our world today. I can attest to that as an overachiever and perfectionist. If asked on the spot, I don't think I could name more than 3 or 4 things I'm genuinely proud of in my life - and I've done a lot of things…! 

I don't think we are well-practiced at being proud of ourselves as musicians. It can feel uncomfortable, fake, or even self-aggrandizing.

So I began to wonder: How do we feel proud? What would make us feel proud?

I came up with a list of 10 things. We feel proud when:

1. We created something of quality (accomplishment)

2. We are making steady, clear progress (achievement)

3. We've overcome a challenge (overcoming struggle)

4. We've done it through our own effort (autonomy, independence)

5. We made the decision to do it (choice, ownership)

6. We are a part of something bigger (purpose)

7. We made a difference in the world or lives of others (meaning)

8. We are valued for our work (being appreciated)

9. We know our friends are proud of us (being seen) 

10. We became better because of it (growth)

Then I wondered, based on this list, what could we do to encourage those we lead to feel proud?

1. Prioritize quality as a collective value

2. Prompt them to notice progress as frequently as possible

3. Help rightsize their goals to have an appropriate amount of stretch

4. Refrain from coming to their rescue all the time

5. Find small opportunities to build in choice

6. Remind them why we are doing this

7. Show them the impact of their work on the world and others

8. Share something specific they did that you appreciated

9. Say you are proud of them

10. Reflect back how they have grown and gotten better

Finally, let's turn this around. Wouldn't it be nice if someone did one of these things for us?

We can be first and do it for them. That's what being a leader is about. Being intentional about helping our musicians feel pride can be a game changer in creating a better culture for our orchestras and opera companies. 

What's one thing you can do for a musician today? Tomorrow? This week?

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